This week has been so frustrating. I love this child; however, I do not like his sudden love for staying awake until all hours of the night! He used to go right to sleep, sleep for 4-5 hours, eat for 5-20 minutes and go right back to sleep. This week he suddenly wants to eat for at least 40 minutes and stay awake screaming until 1 a.m., or he'll go to sleep around 11 and wake around 2-3:30 eat and then stay awake for another hour and a half. He has spent a lot of time crying in his crib... so much for the baby monitor we got, we can hear every scream without it. Oh the joy of a small home.
Now, I'm also about to give up this whole breastfeeding thing. I really don't want to. I told myself I would do it at least until I go back to work. I'm all ready to keep going when I go back too, but this is one of those weeks that it's very tempting to pop open the free cans and jars of formula in the bottom drawer! To be honest, I don't even like breastfeeding, I'm only still doing it because I know it has health benefits for us both and it's saving a ton of money. I would totally be fine just pumping the milk and giving him a bottle or the idea of just pouring a bottle is really starting to appeal to me. It's just frustrating. He's gone from taking about 20 minutes to taking 40 minutes every time. A bottle takes 15 minutes tops.
Now, I'm also about to give up this whole breastfeeding thing. I really don't want to. I told myself I would do it at least until I go back to work. I'm all ready to keep going when I go back too, but this is one of those weeks that it's very tempting to pop open the free cans and jars of formula in the bottom drawer! To be honest, I don't even like breastfeeding, I'm only still doing it because I know it has health benefits for us both and it's saving a ton of money. I would totally be fine just pumping the milk and giving him a bottle or the idea of just pouring a bottle is really starting to appeal to me. It's just frustrating. He's gone from taking about 20 minutes to taking 40 minutes every time. A bottle takes 15 minutes tops.
I sure love this kid...
I really just needed to vent about this... thanks for listening!
7 comments:
Oh I COMPLETELY understand this post! It took me awhile but I really do enjoy breastfeeding now and though we still have trying days (I think they are growth spurt days)I'm glad so far that I've stuck through it. You are doing a great job....it's a tiring job but it will get easier! Tomorrow morning Dec 19 at 10:00 the breastfeeding support group I go to is meeting again and the topic is about breastfeeding and going back to work. You should come if you can. I'll email you the info.
I wish I had some words of wisdom for you but I don't. I think every mother has gone through this...where you are get so tired and frustrated, just know that you are not alone. We have a small house to so I feel your pain!! I did want to say that if you want to stop breastfeeding don't feel bad about it. It is a personal decision that you have to make. I only breastfeed for 6 weeks b/c my milk was making Brady sick, so don't feel bad about it do what is best for you and your family! I will say a prayer for you. You are doing a great job and have a handsome son!!!
Oh, Chellie I totally understand! I think he maybe going through a growth spurt. Their sleep habits will change for sickness, growth spurts, and teething. Don't worry. Stick to your routine and it will eventually go back.
On the whole breastfeeding thing. YOu have to do what is right for you. My first child I tried for two weeks and found out my milk never really came in. I felt horriable for "starving him". He did great on formula and didn't get sick till he was 1. And even now he rarely gets sick. He is above in all the growth charts. My second one I tried for a few days. My milk didn't come in and he was "tounge tied" so it was hard for him. I also had PPD with my second. Think about it, pray about, and then do what is best for you.
Good luck and know you are not alone in your feelings.
There is someone out there that you just encouraged by this post. I applaud you for having the courage to talk about these frustrations. I know exactly what you are going through. All I have to say is that breastfeeding is NOT what makes you a good mom. I know that it is hard to convince yourself of that. Of course, there are wonderful benefits to breastfeeding. I am not disputing that. But you will still be a wonderful mother if you choose to use formula. And your baby will be happy and healthy, either way you choose. :)
You should pat yourself on the back for continuing to breastfeed, its hard work. I know I don't know you, but I have been in your shoes trust me. If you can find a good lactation consultant in your area, you should. Breast feeding is a wonderful thing, but full of many frustrations as well. I found that a lot of times, and during the 13 months I nursed my son as well as countless hours of pumping, that a lot of our issues were easily solved by talking to my lactation consultant. I mean I had this ladies number on speed dial. Trust me the books don't give near enough information on all the little issues that can and do arise during breast feeding. It does get easier after the first couple of months. It could be something as simple as a food in your diet irritating his digestive tract or too much foremilk, etc. What ever you choose to do, continue nursing, pumping or formula feed, just know that you are being the best mom you can be to that precious little baby because you care. He will feel loved no matter what your decision is.
Chellie, you are doing a great job. I say do what is going to keep you guys sane. I know that I had MANY moments while breastfeeding my three and often thought of throwing in the towel, but everytime it was due to a bad day/week. I would push threw and I found it to be an incredibly bonding experience. Hang in there and know that no one should be judging you based on what you decide is best for your child. Keep up the hard work, Momma!
I haven't been breastfeeding for very long, but I totally understand how you feel. We had two bad nights in a row and I was about to scream. Plus you are pretty lucky if he only eats for 20 minutes - Haylie is a slow eater and it takes an hour!! Not fun in the middle of the night. Keep going though - maybe it's just growth spurt time!!
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