I'm mostly writing today as a prayer request. Weeks like this make me have a lot of questions, a lot of regrets and some resentments. While I have told myself that it's a choice this week to have a good attitude I'm already failing at achieving this.
Tomorrow is going to be tough and COLD!! While most moms in the area are going to get to spend a random day at home with their kiddos I am stressing to find childcare, on the verge of tears that I don't get that chance and really questioning choices I've made in my life.
My job is not one that lets me off when there's a trace of snow and ice, in fact, that's the one day of the year it's not optional for me to come in. Forget calling in sick, denied. Yes, they can do that. While I'm trying to gear up I'm struggling with the list mentioned above.
Sure, I like my job and have to some degree chosen to continue working. At the same time, I dread tomorrow and question if we really could afford for me to not work. The reality to that is no, we cannot afford that unless we choose to sell our cars, and get less reliable transportation and undergo a severe budget cut that I'm not sure we could succeed at without a big change of mind/heart.
So, while the rest of you are enjoying a day inside with hot cocoa and pajamas watch Channel 4 and say a prayer for me.. that I won't get frostbite, that I won't break down in tears live on TV, and that my precious little boy will not be bothered by the fact that his mommy doesn't get to spend those days with him.
January at our church has been focused on praise. So I'm praying also that I can praise God through this storm.
6 comments:
I will pray for you, today and tomorrow and the hard days to come.
You are a great mom Chellie! Winter will be over soon!!!
I am always available to watch Brixton! Hope you know that. I am sorry you feel so weighted down but maybe there will be light at the end of the tunnel soon.
How cool will it be for him to say, "hey that's my mom out there doing this awesome thing on TV helping people!" B will be proud of you. He will be proud you work hard for him and your family! He will see you living a godly example of what a woman of God does, takes care of her family. Chellie, you are an amazing mom and woman! I will be praying for your safety tomorrow and God to shed his peace on you.
I feel bad that Liv is sick or we would watch him! You are a great mommy AND a great reporter. I really do understand the feelings you have about working and resentment and worries about living on one income. If you ever want to chat or vent or you know I'm here for you!
Praying for you!!!
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