Saying Goodbye

Yesterday we said a final goodbye to my Uncle Richard.

My uncle was diagnosed with Alzheimer's several years ago. Since then we have watched as he went from a fun loving guy to, well, death. Alzheimer's killed my uncle. My Aunt Anita (my mom's older sister) was married to Richard for over 43 years. I loved at the memorial service how they mentioned he and my aunt had only known each other for TWO MONTHS when they got married! They made it work and loved each other to the very end and beyond.

My Aunt Anita has to be one of the greatest ladies I've ever known. I have watched her go through this with my uncle. She's been forced to make tough decisions, to take away his keys, to have someone sit with him at home and, eventually, to put him in a center where he couldn't get out and wonder around, a place where he would be safe from getting lost. She's been to visit him and loved him through it all. It's been a while since he remembered anniversaries or her birthday. While I know it was hard for her she was strong, or so she seemed. She was hurting, but she still managed to smile and laugh her contagious laugh. I love and respect this woman and hope that if ever faced with a similar life altering situation that I can be like her.

To be honest, I don't have a lot of early memories of my uncle. I remember being sort of scared of him when I was little, but I was a shy kid. As I got older I came to know him as light hearted and pretty silly. And as Alzheimer's took over his life I came to care about him like never before. He and my aunt don't live too far from our first house in OKC. I remember two specific events: 1) One day Nate and I were driving down NW Expressway and there he was -- walking down the median with his bike (he rode it everywhere after his keys were taken away). He was headed to the bike shop to get his tire fixed. We loaded him and the bike up. We tried to go air up the tire, but it burst so we took his bike in to the shop and had them fix it. They lectured Nate about all the stickers in the tire. Nate just nodded and took the bike. 2) There was an area just south of our old house that I considered not great. I was driving just on the edge of that area one day when there he was. I pulled over and as quickly as I could got to him and asked him where he was going. I convinced him to go with me. He wanted ice cream. We went for ice cream and then I took him home. At that time I wasn't sure he knew who I was, but he got in with me anyway. That scared me. I always felt bad telling Aunt Anita because I felt like it was going to cause her pain.

Alzheimer's sucks. That's really the main point. It's definitely not fun watching a family as they deal with it. My cousin Bryan spoke at the memorial service and said how when they learned of the diagnosis my Uncle Richard said, "How am I going to take care of you if I can't take care of myself?" Well, he's done a great job taking care of his family. He's loved and always will be.

My aunt asked in lieu of flowers that donations be made to the Alzheimer's Association. I'm going to post that here and encourage you to all consider a donation. There's no cure for Alzheimer's but I hope someday there will be.

Alzheimer's Association

3555 NW 58th Street, Suite 220

 Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 73112