Next, I want to say it IS a big deal. If you or your spouse are in a struggle with pornography then I think it's important for you to know there is help out there. This isn't something that changes overnight. In case you weren't listening for Nate this started when he was 11 years old. 11!!!
OK, I think it's important to point out one point that a few of the comments made to me made me realize.... In case you missed it, Nate has had more than a year of sobriety from the hang-ups in his life. A year is huge! Ask any one in recovery. Also, don't think I just "put up with it." I think if you really listened it's obvious no wife sitting there "put up" with anything. You can't change your spouse, but you can set boundaries. If you need me to elaborate just e-mail me. I also think it's important to point out, again, that this isssue is a big deal. I've had people in the past say that Nate and I were just striving for the highest level of purity and then alluding to the fact that I needed to loosen up. Well, I disagree. I simply feel we are now striving to fully be who God wants us to be.
Now, if you are wanting help I hope you will consider Celebrate Recovery. Also, counseling on an individual and couple basis (yes, you both need it individually) and lastly (but possibly one of the most important) look into this place http://www.bethesdaworkshops.org/ . Scott mentioned Bethesday in his talk. Nate and I have both been. You go separately. He went for addicts, I went for spouses. It works!
I have prayed for several years now that God would use this "storm" in our marriage/Nate's life to glorify Him and to help others. Yesterday, as painfully hard as it was, was just one more step in that direction. I know it was hard for many people sitting there, whether you were a parent covering your child's ears (sorry 1st service didn't get the disclaimer 2nd service did), you were squirmming in discomfort because the stories spoke directly to you, or you were the spouse holding back the tears in your eyes just hoping the people sitting nearby wouldn't notice that you wanted to run out. I hope there was a level of discomfort, but at the same time I hope it was simply enough to call you to change.
Only God knows what the next step will be for us. I will say we have volunteered to share the whole story, my side included, with the congregation, but we'll see if that happens.
If you missed it maybe MRCC will podcast it in a few days... we'll see.
If you are someone who was hit by yesterday's sermon and you just don't know where to turn I'm always open to talk. Feel free to e-mail me. chelliemills@yahoo.com
6 comments:
So disappointed I missed it. You guys are great and I love your openness!
He did a great job, they all did. He put something on someones heart, you may not know about today....or tomorrow....but it did touch someone's heart!
Preach it sister!! You guys are truly an inspiration!! I can't wait to see how full newcomers is in the next couple of weeks to months!
Sorry I didn't get to come talk to you after church...Nate did a great job (as well as the other 2) and that is awesome that he was willing and able to share that. You guys are a great example to so many! Keep it up!
I am sad that I missed out on such a great day for MRCC and your family. I know that Nate did a great job and I also know that you both have grown so much. Thank you for sharing as I know your hope is that other's will come to know God's grace through your story.
love you and nate both you guys have come so far...miss you guys!!
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